The Time I Ate Too Many Weed Edibles in Colorado

How could a small container of weed brownies reck havoc upon a short four day trip to Denver, Colorado?

Such a sad and shameful tale. I can’t believe I’m even sharing it.

*And in case someone from my job stumbles across the post – just know that I’m done with edibles! FOREVER!

But anywho, let’s start from the beginning.

Once upon a time, I booked a cheap roundtrip flight to Denver, Colorado for like $29 each way. I flew with Frontier Airlines (a low cost carrier based in Denver) who were advertising low fares there. Of course, since the flights were so inexpensive I was able to gather up four friends to tag along. I also had two friends from college who live in Colorado now. My plan was to link up with them, catch a Denver Nuggets game, do some sightseeing and thats it.

After landing in Denver and driving to our hotel, my friends were delighted to find out that we were staying within walking distance to a cannabis dispensary. In my very southern home state of Alabama, we have no such thing and neither do any of our neighboring states. So, it was like a big deal.

We all went out to dinner later that evening and met up with my college friends. The plan was to eat and then go out for drinks. But, my local friend Bryan just had to mention this wonderful dispensary nearby. That’s all it took and we piled in the rental car and headed out to the magical store full of green stuff.

And I haven’t been right since.

I’ve gotta give it up to Denver though. Maybe it’s because Colorado was one of the first states in which weed was legal? The dispensary we went to seemed to have a huge variety of items to choose from. I’ve only been to dispensaries in California, Nevada and Illinois – so I could be wrong, but it was so many snacks. All different flavors of brownies, cookies, jellybeans, lollypops, gummy bears. To quote my friend Bryan, “this is like Willy Wonka for grown ups!”. Who was a little bit too excited, even though he lives in Denver.

With that being said, I was going to be the responsible grown up in the group. Besides, I do not smoke weed – I have a job that test for it pretty frequently and I pretty much outgrew it after my party days. My plan was to eat an edible or two, sit back and just be a lame adult.

While I was pondering over which brownies to buy, this sweet little old lady came over to help me decide. I was quite surprised at how small the container was and asked how many are in there? And then she was like, “Dear, it’s ten but all you need is one brownie and you will be good to go”. I was still skeptical. Of course, she would say that she’s old. I’m used to normal sized brownies in trays at house parties with a side of weed butter. But, okay.

All six of us squeeze into the Nissan Altima and head back to Bryan’s house. Everyone was so excited for their goodies! Even my friends that smoke regularly. After opening up my container of brownies, I felt a little underwhelmed. They were so small! Like the size of bite sized Snicker bar. I shared a few and ate one as well. I didn’t feel a thing and felt like I wasted my money!

Once we made it to the house, everyone began to smoke. Half were either giggling or just laid back and chillin. I felt nothing and I was furious! So I ate another one and still did not feel anything! And this was like after three hours. Around 10 p.m., I had a total of four – I figured four small ones would make one whole right? And they tasted so good, they were turtle brownies!

And that’s when it happened. This was my face and life, in a nutshell, over the course of the weekend.

I experienced almost every emotion known to man. I was beyond paranoid, running around thinking that I was late for work, when I wasn’t even in my home state I was in Colorado! Bugging out, I hid my phone inside a vase thinking that my friend who was texting me was an undercover cop.

Bryan’s girlfriend came by and we drove around to get snacks. I ate around six Krispy Kreme doughnuts and had three slurpee’s from 7/11. I don’t even eat sugar! We spend around $100 at Popeye’s on boxes of chicken and red beans and rice. Two of my friends argued like crazy over the last biscuit for what seemed like hours upon hours. I recall being in the corner mad at myself for procrastinating with homework from three years ago. I was laughing like crazy at everything and being obsessed with SpongeBob on my phone at like 2 am. Oh and we seriously debated if Martin Luther King and Martin Luther were related.

And then I couldn’t come down from my high. I was trying to coach myself to be normal and swearing up and down that it must be laced with something strong, because I was tripping out! I was praying and saying i’m not ever messing with weed ever again!

After sleeping the entire day and waking around 4 pm that Saturday, I felt a tiny bit better. And one would think I was done with those damn brownies?

Me and my friend split the remaining bite size brownies and had some gummy bears. We went to one of the weed lounges and giggled a bunch. And then later that night we went clubbing and probably danced like this for the remainder of the night. Actually, I’m sure of it.

On my final day there, we decided to all go on a big family trip and sightsee. We only made it to two places before it was a wrap. The first was the Garden of Gods in Colorado Springs. Its a huge park with beautiful red rock formations. I managed to take a few nice stoned pictures.

Our final stop was Pikes Peak Cog Railway. With the highest train in the United States going up 14,115 feet in the air. Totally not smart for people who have consumed so much weed. It was just the icing on a perfect messed up weekend. High altitudes while being high is a terrible combination.

Fortunately, we made it out alive and consumed most our goodies before it was time to fly back home.

I did absolutely nothing I set out to do on this trip. And although I can’t remember many details of it, it was pretty cooll. My Denver trip was a 10 out of 10. And as a warning, if you chose to partake in such activities in the more open minded states and countries…..Don’t sleep out on the edibles, they may look tiny and cute. But they are anything but.